I haven’t written in a while. I started a 31 day series and never finished it.
I have excuses but the truth is I just didn’t have the heart to finish it.
I am a mom of three daughters. They will be 15, 13 and 11 this year. They are great girls.
But can I tell you something? It isn’t easy. The world we live in is hard to go against the
flow. I feel like I am always picking my battles and finding that I am being judged when
I choose not to battle. Somethings, are best left to learn on their own.
There are many times I feel alone in this parenting gig. It is almost
like parents have this understanding that once our kids hit a certain age, we all
go silent. We stop talking. And we struggle in silence.
Well, I am hoping that we here in this place can change that. I have all intentions of
writing about mothering teens. I won’t tell you things that will embarrass them but
I’ll write about things that work in my family with my girls. Hopefully, we can help
each-other out and open up about parenting.
Some will argue that cell phones and social media are bad, while I agree, thinking
your kid won’t have a cell phone isn’t real life. It’s not real parenting. I am not here
to argue over cell phones. I am here to tell you things that work in our family. For the
record I am not one to spy on my kids and sneak to look at their phones.
I feel it breaks down the trust between us. However, they know when I ask to see
their phones, they have to hand them over.
This winter break I desperately wanted to make memories with my girls. I didn’t want
another break to go by without being intentional about our time together. But it is hard
to make memories that don’t cost a lot or involve the mall or a movie.
I picked up a puzzle when I was out one day.I don’t know why that sentence sounds off.
But you get the drift. I bought a puzzle when I was at Target one day.
My first thought was they will never do this with me. They will think it is babyish. As a
mom of teens you get used them shutting down all your ideas.
One Sunday it was snowing and there wasn’t any plans that day and everyone looked
bored out of their ever-loving minds.There is only so much T.V. one can watch.
I took a chance and invited them to do the puzzle with me. Either out of
boredom or humor they came and started the puzzle with me. To my surprise they didn’t
pick up their phones once. Now, I won’t lie there was some arguing about how to put it
together, but God help me we kept going, I was determined to make this a memory.
That is until we found out there was some missing pieces. Isn’t it ALWAYS like that???
Life it doesn’t always go as planned and having teens has taught me to go with the flow.
After we picked up the puzzle, laughing that it was missing pieces. I thought we are onto
something here. No phones. Laughing. Connecting.
That same day at Target I had also picked up a new game called Scribble Heads.
I don’t know if you know about it but it is hilarious. It comes with a small wipe board
that you place around your head. Without looking at the board, you are to draw what is on
the card. Everyone has to guess before time runs out.
When I bought up if we should play it they were excited.
We ended up playing and laughing and having fun. Then something strange happened. I
mean really strange for teens. They had friends over the other day and they pulled out the
board games and played for hours. I was so excited I texted my friend.
After I texted her I stood there in the kitchen staring at them like I was weird but I
couldn’t believe my eyes. Teens playing Battleship. Not even the cool electronic one. The
old boring one. The one I bought at a garage sale!
See, here is the thing. Our kids are craving connection. They just don’t know how to
go about getting there.They have no direction. We haven’t taught them how to connect.
They know how to get followers and likes on Instagram and they
know all the new SnapChat filters, but they do not know how to connect without their
phones. It seems like a no brainer when I look at how board games and puzzles were a tool
in getting our girls to connect without phones but we often forget that simple things
have a lot of value.