To the ones that grew my belly bigger and that I couldn’t wait to hold in my arms.
To the ones I see each week, with our hearts connecting as we look for ways to serve.
To the ones I hold dear to my heart as I watched you spread your wings and fly.
You came home asking me about it.
I know some of your friends have seen it and some of your friends moms.
They have made it a girls night out.
Giggling and acting as if this is no big deal.
You’ve seen the commercials.
What is sex and a play room?
You asked. I gulped.
You and I are open about things and we discuss a lot of hard places.
And this is one of those hard places.
I get this whole Fifty Shades of Grey. I do.
We all want a man to make us his whole life.
Even if it is twisted and messed up and dressed up.
We want to be everything to him.
We want to be the ones that he changes for.
But a real woman.
Doesn’t want to be his whole everything.
A real woman knows that only God can change a heart.
A real woman wants her man to make God, his everything.
A real woman also knows that she is complete in Christ.
And doesn’t need a man to be whole.
A real woman knows that just because she is not married or dating it doesn’t mean there is something wrong with her.
A real woman respects herself and knows she is worthy because she is a daughter of Christ.
She is confident in the gifts and talents that God has given her.
And she boldly uses them.
And lets talk about sex.
A real man, a man who loves you, knows that great sex. (In marriage let’s be clear on that).
Starts out side of the bedroom.
He knows that he will never complete you and doesn’t try to.
He knows that only God can do that.
He lays down his life in order to cheer your dreams on.
He wants you to use your gifts your talents for God.
And when things lead to the bedroom.
He only wants to please you, he doesn’t care about his desires.
He wants nothing more than for you to enjoy yourself.
And if you have come from a place where sex was forced or abused,
he will walk down that healing path with you.
It would break his heart if he hurt you or degraded you in any way.
He wants only for you to feel safe and cherished.
Sex is amazing and wonderful if it treated as a gift.
I’m not saying sex has to be boring.
But sex would never make you feel less than, or that you are not worthy, loved or cherished.
It’s more than sex and making out.
Wipes snotty noses and changes dirty diapers, buys tampons when you run out.
Real love, fights and is messy and may scream and yell
but it also forgives and doesn’t hold grudges.
Real love burns dinner and sets off the fire alarms.
Real love forget to buy milk and toilet paper and hits the mailbox with her car.
Real love holds each others hands under the sheets and prays.
Real love holds you in bed when your scared.
Real love gives back rubs when you know he can’t sleep.
Real love is not the movies.
But it is real life and it is daily laying down your life for each other.