He will use it.

This move has left me won­der­ing what my pur­pose is.

Let me explain…

I had titles and roles before we moved.

 

Here and now.

There are no titles. No roles.

And I’m won­der­ing if God is ask­ing me to a dif­fer­ent purpose.

I take that back, I know God is call­ing me to a dif­fer­ent purpose.

Hon­estly, I have struggled.

I didn’t like it one bit at first.

I’ve had to become con­tent in the here and now.

Our house sold so quick I just knew that God was mov­ing me for some­thing grand.

He was going to use me in a big way.

I could  feel it.

But he has called me to some­thing that doesn’t really, well, I guess small?

I have no other word for it and it’s late. Just go with it.

 

I’ve had to search myself and it was painful. Just ask my friends.

It was painful for them too.

They had to lis­ten to me whine and com­plain  as I was pro­cess­ing this.

I had to ask myself…

 

What if my pur­pose is some­thing that doesn’t come with a title?

Or a role? Or a plat­form? Or a following?

What if no one knows my name?

Or asks me to speak?

Let’s be clear no one has ever asked me to speak at a conference.

And it is not a dream of mine. I just threw that in there.

Or write again?

What if my pur­pose is some­thing no one would even know about?

What if my pur­pose was only to pray for other peo­ple who don’t even know me? Or never even met me? Or don’t know I exist?

Not to lead or teach but just to sit and inter­ceded for others.

Or wash dishes?

And clean dirty floors.

Would I?  Be okay if God is call­ing me to some­thing that no one would praise?

Would I know that I still mat­ter to God?

That I wasn’t some after thought.

That he didn’t over­look me when he was pass­ing out purposes.

Even if I never get THAT ONE  pur­pose, would I know it doesn’t mean I am unworthy.

Or spe­cial or not cared about?

And then…

Would it be enough for me if HE ONLY KNEW?

Gulp.

That’s a hard one.

I’ll be hon­est, I’ve struggled.

And depend­ing on the day, I don’t always like my purpose.

Some­times my pur­pose has a mouth that says she doesn’t like dinner.

I kind of want to march into heaven and argue about  this calling.

It’s not very glamorous.

I get jeal­ous of oth­ers pur­pose and won­der why God didn’t pick me?

 

Yeah, I know I am not alone. I can see your head shak­ing and bobbing.

I feel you. I hear you. You feel invis­i­ble and that your pur­pose doesn’t matter.

But your Father in Heaven sees.

 

 

 

He sees how you for­gave that snide remark that came with no apology.

He saw you open the door for that mom at the store.

He saw you drop off a check to hurt­ing family.

He heard your prayers for others.

He saw you clean the bathroom.

And load the washer again.

 

See, the thing about God, is he uses your pur­pose and sees how your purpose –

has changed the lives of oth­ers, before you can.

Did that make any sense?

God sees all before we do.

He sees how that seed you planted in someone

is going to bloom into a flower years from now.

That prayer you whis­pered, he used it and it com­forted others.

See, what I am saying.

Noth­ing is wasted.

Noth­ing we ever do for him is wasted.

Big or small.

Title or no title.

God doesn’t waste pur­poses or hearts that want to serve him.

Even if it is clean­ing the bathroom.

He will use it.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s