To the last little detail.
I ordered a coffee after dinner when I turned to see if he wanted anything.
And there he was on bended knee in the tiny restaurant above apartments with a ring in his hand.
He was asking me, to be the one.
My heart was pounding so fast and I was so nervous that I didn’t say anything.
Giggles erupted from the back seats.
And before her sisters could ask anything
she turned towards me, eyes filled with wonder “how did you know?”
“How did you know he was the one?”
So here is the thing, marriage.
It’s not about finding the right one but rather being the right one.
We can make ourselves silly crazy with the question is he the one?
We can search to the ends of the world looking for the right one.
And we can make ourselves sick asking did I marry the right one.
Let me tell you daughters, there is no right one out there.
There is no guy that will fill up your heart the way that Jesus does.
And you will never fill some man’s heart the way Jesus does.
Let’s just get that out-of-the-way.
But when you start to ask yourself if he is the right one, you put unfair, unrealistic expectations on him and it can lead you down an ugly path.
And having this mind-set of having found the right one can be dangerous if you fall on hard times instead of leaning completely on God to help you through it, you could wonder about God’s love for you and become bitter, especially if someone in the relationship blew it big time.
Really– you should ask yourself am I going to be the one?
Am I going to be the one everyday for the rest of my life?
Because that is what marriage is about.
It’s choosing every morning to be the one.
It is choosing them above anyone or anything.
It’s bending low and serving and caring for them.
It’s holding their heart carefully in your hands.
Your mema is a beautiful example of choosing to be the one.
Her love for papa is deep and pure.
Everyday she gets up and puts his needs before her own.
She never visioned this is how her life would be.
That one night when a drink driver forever changed their lives.
But yet she chooses to be the one for Papa.
Even when it is hard.
It’s not looking at the other person and wondering what they can do for you.
But it’s looking for what you can do for them.
It’s not looking at the other person and asking how they are going to change.
It’s taking a look at your heart and asking God to show you how you need to change.
It’s not a poem or butterflies that you get when you see them.
Or his good looks.
Those fade away.
And the baby won’t stop crying and there is a dollar left in your names
and he comes home to tell you he was let go.
It’s saying I will love you to the end of the earth and I will do what it takes to
put your needs first.
It’s celebrating the good times and lighting the dreams on fire for each other.
It’s mourning the losses and extending the olive branch, even if it’s not your fault.
Because that is what marriage is.
Putting the other person first.
And when your heart wants to be his one– then that is when you know he is the one.
( Disclaimer– Friend if you are in an abusive marriage then please find someone to help you and get out.)