Is this missing in your marriage?

A month ago my hus­band and I went on a vacation.Just the two of us.

We came back say­ing this trip was even bet­ter than our honeymoon.

Because hon­ey­moons come with so many expec­ta­tions and dreams and let’s just be real.

Dis­ap­point­ment.

You are try­ing to fig­ure each other out and at some point some­thing about the “love” of your life will irri­tate you like no other.

Like when they are brush­ing their teeth.

 

Soon after I posted this pic­ture on Face­book, my hus­band noticed that I had some­thing in my tooth.

Look hard, you will see it.

We couldn’t stop laugh­ing that  we cried.

And that is when we real­ized what was miss­ing in our marriage.

Fun.

Just old fash­ion fun.

Laugh­ing and gig­gling and enjoy­ing each other.

This trip made us real­ize that fun is just as impor­tant as God and fam­ily and sex.

Even sex can becomes a chore when there isn’t any fun in your marriage.

Heck, every­thing is a chore when no one is hav­ing fun.

We talked about the dreams we had for the future and our bucket list.

We had some seri­ous talks to about how to keep the fun going in our marriage.

And what fun looked like to us.

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Friends isn’t  it so easy to do? To stop hav­ing fun.

Both of you  going in dif­fer­ent directions.

We know, my hus­band trav­els weekly.

He is off work­ing and I am man­age the house.

When we come together as a fam­ily on the week­ends, we strug­gle to not

just worry about what needs to get done.

We fight against it all  the time.

Some week­ends we win and some we lose.

Put some money stress in there and  health bur­dens and throw in some kids

with their com­mit­ments and their friends.

And life stops being fun and becomes HARD.

You stop dream­ing and you start sur­vival mode.

Just try­ing to make it to the next sea­son of life instead of enjoying

this one.

 

 

 

 

How do we keep fun in our marriage?

The first thing we did when we got home was to carve out time weekly.

Let’s face it we would all love to jump on a plane and lay out on the beach every month.

But that is not realistic.

What is real­is­tic is find­ing time in the week carved out for the two of you.

And guard­ing it with your life.

For us it changes weekly because of travel and our girls com­pe­ti­tions but we find the time and we won’t budge. Even if that means other peo­ple get their feel­ings hurt.

And then define what is fun?

Some cou­ples love to read a book together and dis­cuss it.

Some of us love to jump in the jeep and drive around.

It can be any­thing from cook­ing together to play­ing golf to talk­ing a walk.

It is some­thing that you as a cou­ple have to define for yourselves.

And let your heart just be.

Free from expec­ta­tions and the what it should be.

Just show up and allow your­self to enjoy your spouse.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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