It’s been months since I have written and shared a post. Honestly, I’m scared. The last few posts I wrote, I received some messages and harsh comments– that I stopped writing, closed my blog and moved over here, where no one could read my words.
I might have told myself that God told me to stop writing but really I think I was guarding my heart with a wall. God is so good– that He allowed me to say it was Him, when it was me the whole time. He knew my heart needed a break and some healing and He was willing to take the blame until I was ready.
It’s been so long I am not even sure I know how to link up anymore. Or how to comment. But here goes:
Happy. It isn’t something I was raised thinking God wanted for us.
I was always told to carry my cross and follow Jesus. And in doing so life would be hard.
My view of God has always been, that He was a controlling mean God that brought hard
situations in my life to teach me things. Maybe you understand what my words
are lacking. Maybe you too where brought up thinking God was a mean teacher that
needed to teach us lessons and the thought of Him wanting us to be happy never
crossed my mind. Don’t get me wrong. I believe that God uses every heartache and tragic
situation for our good, but I am starting to wonder if He really brings it on us?
We are currently in a heartache. My cousin just lost her life tragically at 41. And two weeks
before she passed away,she lost her son. Two family deaths in two weeks. Does God really
cause death to teach us things? Or is He a loving God that cries with us?
God, He is breaking every view I have of Him. I’m so glad He is.
When I started to read Jennifer Lee’s Happiness dare book. ( You must get this book.)
I started to wonder.
And I started to ask. Does God really want us to be happy? What makes me happy?
When was the last time I was really happy?
Those questions alone make me happy.
Last night I sat at the desk, trying to write down my three gifts of the day.
It is hard somedays. I wrote– “I am thankful for that the dishwasher was empty”.
That was it my friends. The dishwasher was empty.
I went to bed feeling guilty. Shouldn’t I be more grateful? After all Jesus died for me.
This morning I woke up to peace and God telling me that he was glad too that the
dishwasher was empty. He knew it was a hard day and my being happy about the
dishwasher being empty made Him happy.
Then I asked Him, “Please remind me of the things that make me happy”?
Writing. Remember when you blogged? That community of friends made you happy.
Photography. Remember when you would take pictures just to take pictures because it
made you happy? And the list went on and on…
So my five minutes is up. But before I go I encourage you to pick up Jennifer’s new book
and ask God to remind you what makes you happy.